Halfway Point Game Day Blog: The PAC Championship Rematch, Ducks @ Oilers

I’ll let it be known that despite my illness, I’ll still be in attendance for this one. Nothing was keeping me out of the building for this rematch. In fact, I bought these tickets back in like August for me and the former girlfriend. When we ended things I thought, “Ha, great, now I can go to the Ducks game in January with my boys! Go watch two of the best teams in the PAC play each other for the first time on a Thursday night, maybe mix in some a salsa night at On The Rocks, who knows?!” Literally endless possibilities, and I was beyond excited. Turns out the Oilers are in 26th and haven’t scored a goal in over 120 minutes, and the Ducks are barely clinging onto a wild card spot. I can literally see her laughing at the fact that I paid face value for these seats.

Still, fuck Kesler forever. It’s rivalry night at the Rog, and dammit I need a goal. Let’s go.

Tonight’s Opponent: Cheaters.

Their Record: 19-14-8, 46 points. They’ve won three straight heading into tonight so picture seven days ago when they were just four points up on the boys. That’s what three straight wins could get us, a shot at a wild card spot. What a time.

Our Record: 17-20-3, 37 points. It’s as if someone used an Etch a Sketch on the four game win streak that we worked so hard to elicit. We’ve been outscored 10-0 in our previous two games so suffice to say we’re a little cold heading into this one.

What do they have? Cheap, dirty, racist, ignorant, ref-slashing imbeciles. And I haven’t even got to Kesler yet.

Let’s look back at their 2016-17 season. Well, notorious homophobe Ryan Getzlaf, whose brother couldn’t hold onto a football if it was drenched in Gorilla Glue, was fined 10k for a homophobic slur during the Western Conference Final. Antoine Vermette slashed the shit out of an official. And Ryan Kesler learned that Max Domi can launch nuclear missiles at the face:

I get CHUBBED every time I watch that ultimate KO. Holy fuck yes. Absolutely smell ya, Kesler.

I hate these guys. I hate that they took the Mighty Ducks logo and name and, Christ most importantly, the jerseys away from us. I hate what little fans they actually have, especially those that had to ask me why I flew down from Edmonton to go to a playoff game in Anaheim. Like, are you shitting me with that question? People like Magoo were taking out mortgages to go to games in Edmonton but I could fly down to a playoff game in Anaheim with my buddy and sit in row 15 at centre ice for the price of a Bobby fucking Nicks burger. That’s why I flew down for the game, Darrell. Because you guys don’t care about hockey, and therefore the market has watered down the tickets to infinity. I hate the Kings and their fans with a passion but at least they give a shit. You guys are Arizona with a better team. It breaks my heart that someone as perfect as Teemu had to waste his life playing in front of 14 fans at the Pond. What a travesty.

Kevin Bieksa is a skeleton. Ryan Miller is a more terrible Mike Smith. Corey Perry’s a fucking idiot. Ryan Getzlaf’s brother is the worst slot receiver in CFL history. And Ryan Kesler’s hand is still interfering with Talbot’s leg.

Andrew Cogliano is a very healthy human.

What do we have?

These are the changes:

Yep, Patty Big Rig was suspended two games for that penalty that cost us one game against LA. I haven’t found any line rushes yet but God I wish it’d look like:

93 – 97 – 98
27 – 29 – 58
16 – 18 – 91
13 – 55 – 44

Ugh that first line makes it move. But, because Todd, it will probably look like:

27 – 97 – 98
16 – 29 – 18
13 – 93 – 91
58 – 55 – 44

And that is some BAD winger depth. But Peter forever he won a Cup in Boston guy’s incredible smart man pays the prices you have to pay Griffin Reinhart’s a project.

Did you know? Peter Chiarelli traded Anaheim the pick that became Rickard Rakell, because of course he did.

Prediction: Boys need a fire under their ass and what better way to ignite it than to play one of our biggest rivals. Let’s go. 7-4 Oilers, bloodfest. Couple fights, couple scrums, couple “hey how are yas” and a couple points for Jesse. Also Connor hasn’t picked up a point in *gasp* three straight games.

So book him down for three to make up for it. Also Kass for some bizarre reason plays insane against the Ducks, let’s give him a goal too.