“Several” Players Declined Faster Skater Invites Because They Know McDavid Will Win

So apparently this morning, “several players” (Elliotte’s words, not mine) declined a chance to participate in the faster skater because “no one thinks they can beat Connor McDavid” (Ryan Kennedy’s words, not mine). If I were a guessing man, based on the speed that exists in this All-Star game I’d assume that two of those players were Erik Karlsson and the reigning Most Gentlemanly Player.

But people had to partake. It’s not a competition at all, but ever since the the Olympians invented foot racing back in 760 BC, there have always been more than one participants in a sporting event. There has to be a winner, and equally, there has to be at least one loser. Problem is, most of the challengers wanted nothing to do with the inevitable winner. Remember, last year, Connor set the official record for fastest time ever recorded with a skating head start. McDavid was given the opportunity to break the record for the fastest lap ever set* (by Detroit Red Wings forward Dylan Larkin) who jumped (literally from the blue line) to a time of 13.172 seconds in 2015-16. Daddy, knowing that Larkin was gifted a cheat code, asked for the same cheat code, but was denied by the league. Therefore, his 13.31 seconds was 0.138 of a second slower than Larkin. He was 0.138 of a second slower than a player who had a six stride head start. This year, Daddy’s hungry for the record. He played all but 38 seconds of over time against the Flames on Thursday, and was still burning Calgary forwards and defenseman for shits and giggles in the final minute of the frame. So naturally, it’s expected that a few players might not want the embarrassment of getting flamethrowered by Connor this evening. However, we have officially received the other districts’ tributes for the 2018 Faster Skater Hunger Games:

So our tributes from the other districts consist of a lot of young players and Josh Bailey trying to take down the champ. We have Brayden Point (21), Zach Werenski (20), Rickard Rakell (24), Noah Hanifin (21), Nathan MacKinnon (22), and my personal favourite:

Live look at Jack after the faster skater contest:

Skills contest starts at 5:00 MST on Sportsnet. Tune in to see if Connor can break Dylan Larkin’s fake ass record this year.


PS – Larkin’s time is a ridiculous joke and should be disqualified from the record books. It’s absurd that his cheating ass is still recognized as the winner. Do we still celebrate Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France accomplishments after he admitted to being on all the dope? No, he lost everything because of cheating. Will Barry Bonds ever not have an asterisk beside his home run record? Nope, it’s permanently engraved like a tattoo. Ben Johnson was the fastest man in the world until it was discovered that he was pumped full of stanozolol. This is the lowest of lows for a league that already lacks all kinds of integrity #revokeLarkin2018.