“Canada’s Most Romantic Cities” Unveiled and No Surprise: Sherwood Park, Spruce Grove, and Fort McMurray Among Winners

I haven’t dabbled outside hockey in a long time, and for good reason. The Oilers have been creating so much content for me that I basically just take their performances and put them into words and bam, page views. What a job. Blog life, baby. That said, I couldn’t not blog this. Anytime my local Albertan towns get some coverage I’m the first one outside, standing in the inhabitable cold, clapping my hands in support. And this might have been the most obvious recognition our province has ever received. Nothing says ‘romance’ like ‘Berta. So congratulations to Banff Jasper Lake Louise Spruce Grove, Airdrie, Sherwood Park, GP, and the Mac on perpetually embracing romance culture. Love seeing hard work get recognized. I basically stopped what I was doing and opened up ENS the minute I saw “romantic” and “Fort McMurray” in the same sentence. At first glance this may instead look like a list of cities where you have the highest possibility of being robbed on the street in broad daylight, and don’t get me wrong, that’s possible as well. But give me a minute to explain a few things. 1) Imagine telling a lovely lady from an exotic country that you were from Canada’s fifth most romantic city, then proceeding to show her a picture of Fort McMurray before handing her your Canada Dry bottle of chew spit and driving away in your lifted F350? Holy romance. You’d have to carry a goddamn rain poncho everywhere you go just to withstand the incoming monsoon. And 2) I have great news for all my single Edmontonians and St. Albertans. Are you desperate for love this month? Have you NEVER been to the Ice Castle and it’s killing you because you’re dying to find someone willing to go with you to that frozen hellscape with so you can finally get that ‘Gram. Well stop looking down, because God just sent you the romance playbook: Alberta Edition. Stop looking up too, actually. You should be looking east and west, to the budding metropolises of Sherwood Park and Spruce Grove. Want to put a label on that person you’ve been crushing on? Take him or her on a scenic walk in Sherwood Park, then seal your love with a kiss in front of their impeccably picturesque views:

And anybody who’s ever visited Spruce Grove knows it’s basically the Heartland of Love. Even the magical waters of the hot tub at the Welshly Arms Hotel can’t rival the lust and passion one gets when staying at the Travel Lodge on Westgrove Drive. Alberta, baby. The Province of Romance.

PS – Can’t help but be reminded of the time Drew Carey’s shady ass told a contest on The Price is Right that she was won an all expenses paid trip to Edmonton. Her name was Brenda, and this was her reaction:

Because they showed her a picture of Lake Louise instead:

Turns out Brenda did, in fact, have modern technology and looked up Edmonton. Probably couldn’t figure out where the pristine blue lake and beautiful mountains went. Touché, Brenda. In the end, she declined the free trip. It’s entirely possible that the author behind “Canada’s Most Beautiful Cities” has never been to Alberta, and instead picked names with “Park” and “Grove” and “Prairie” and “Fort” in them, thinking there’s no chance they could be anything other than eye-opening environmental municipalities. Actually, it’s possible — based on the rest of the list — that the author has never even been to Canada. Then again, with romantic stories like this, maybe research was conducted: