Morning After Blog: What is Goaltender Interference?

Show me the person that says Pearson’s butt isn’t on Talbot’s blocker and I’ll show you a liar. The worst part is, I feel like this goal should count. That should be a good goal. Like, if the Oilers scored that and it was disallowed I’d be sharpening my figurative pitch forks and opening my Twitter app to say mean and profanity-laced things to @NHL. But call it consistently, man. This league has no idea what is or isn’t goaltender interference anymore. There’s no way you can tell me that this isn’t a goal:

And this is a goal:

Both times the blockers move because of a player, and they’re called differently on each occasion. It’s asinine. Goaltender interference is the most illogically subjective bullshit in any league. It makes the NFL’s “what constitutes a catch” call look like the game instructions for fucking Pong. I’ve had it with this league’s unprecedented bullshit.

1st Period

Death, taxes, Connor being a mutant, and the Oilers giving up the first shot of the game. Nine times. NINE TIMES we’ve done that:

That goal was brought to you by Scalar, who barely had a chance to get any sufficient ROI off their ad campaign before Kyle “two goals” Clifford scored from the top of the circle. I get it was a good shot, but for McChrist’s sake, it was Kyle fucking Clifford. He’s played in LA’s bottom six since like 2010. Make the save. Also, Torrey Mitchell was waived out of the dot and Strome still lost the faceoff to Trevor Lewis and his career 42.4 FOW%. Killer start.

1-0 LA

2nd Period

Benning and Klefbom combined for three (!!) turnovers in under a minute, and the byproduct of that shit awful shift from Christ Town was LA scoring on their first shot of the period again:

Jesus, Klef. That last turnover was inexcusable. Just an absolute nonchalant effort to make an effective and accurate pass. Oscar:

Oh, but Connor (and Leon, but mostly Connor):

Thank everything for these two, but mostly Connor. Good puck work. Nice pass. Great shot. That’s another power play goal. Could have used this effectiveness like 52 games ago.

And more from Connor, because if not for him, I’d be watching the Cavs/T-Wolves on a Wednesday:

Soft goal by the former Red Deer Rebel but we’ll take anything. At this point it was all Oilers. I think the shots were like 13-1 and one of them was this heart-breaking death stab to the large intestine:

Honestly, this was the moment I realized we were destined to lose this game. Darcy Kuemper was on the beach in Malibu when Connor passed the puck to Leon but the Kings backup channelled his inner Jonathan Quick and ripped over with the speed of an Elon Musk Hyperloop in a triumphant effort to prevent the Oil from ever winning in Los Angeles again.

2-2

3rd Period

Are you kidding me with this shit again?:

Crossbar, post, desperation save off an incredibly feeble Lucic play in front. Milan hasn’t scored in 15 games but it honestly feels longer. I feel like he hasn’t scored all year. When was the last time he provided anything relevant offensively? He’s tied with “The number of times the Oilers have allowed a goal on the first shot of the game” with nine. One could argue that Cap Space has been more productive. We’re paying him just under a million bucks per goal and meanwhile, when Taylor Hall is not getting a knee driven into the back of his skull, he’s occupying the top 20 in league points. But Milan is heavy, and heavy hockey is clearly more important than rifling a puck into the most empty net ever. What a life.

Naturally when you fail to score on two separate wide open nets and you hit the c-bar, all within 1.2 seconds of each other, you’re going to receive a physically crippling dose of volatile fate headed straight for your unprotected nut sack:

The penalty kill was doing so well so of course when my boy takes an insane offensive zone penalty (he bulldozed some dude without the puck) the Kings solve the league’s somehow best road penalty killing team. His blocker moved. I don’t get it.

The Kings scored two empty net goals and suddenly the pain of having the Colts get unceremoniously fucked from behind by one Josh McDaniels miraculously vanished into thin piss.

5-2 LA

Thoughts

The hell is wrong with this league?

Connor forever tho. He’s now three behind Kucherov for the league lead. Five minutes ago, he was in like 13th. Suck it, Gaudreau.

It was kind of funny watching Connor mentally torment Drew Doughty all game.

I miss Nuge.

Russell for Vezina:

I hate sports.

We haven’t won in LA since pretty much the Gretzky trade.

Speaking of Wayner, he was incapacitatingly BELUGA’D at the game. I feel like he’s always on the piss now. He makes the wine and the whisky and then immediately drinks it all. I need to party with him. Absolutely need to get Great Oned with Wayne.

Figures LA would bring their super fan, Will Ferrell, out to the game, since Frank the Tank was basically the person responsible for killing Blue in Old School.

Which reminds me, I haven’t heard from Blue in a while. Or Old News Magoo. If they’ve given up I’ll need to host a real super fan contest next year.

On a devastating more serious note, that loss was huge. Spirit crushing. We needed to win all three of these games. And this one’s made worse because we had it. We had two golden opportunities to put pucks into empty nets but we let them slip away. We are officially on life support.

GGG

Jujhar Khaira, for reconstructing Folin’s face:

MOP

We’ve scored 11 goals in our last three games and Connor’s been in on nine of them. It was Connor again. Also, I’ve now predicted Connor’s point total in back to back games.