Morning After Blog: Nothing is Fine and Everything Sucks

What an unequivocal disaster. That was a laughably painful performance. The game itself was a nightmare. Kevin Quinn sounded like he was narrating a goddamn funeral. Some Oilers fan allegedly threw his jersey on the ice. Debbie from Clareview was inebriated before puck drop. God knows Amy from Vegas has already penned a letter to the Edmonton Journal about the shenanigans that took place inside the T-Mobile (just kidding, she said she sold her tickets for this game, the coward).

Vegas supposed to be a team that everybody steamrolled this season. And yet here we are, the team with Connor fucking McDavid, getting steamrolled by every team this season. And Vegas might win the Cup. Put this season to the torch so it disappears forever.

1st Period

We made the first save!

And it didn’t matter!

A defensive breakdown of epic proportions. Watch Milan Lucic follow his man (aka the eventual goal scorer) behind the net and then lose him right before the puck goes in. Lucic has nine goals and 30 points in 56 games. He has four points since December 27th. He hasn’t scored a goal in 20 games. He makes $6 million per year.

I have no Oilers highlights to show you from this period.

1-0 Golden Knights

2nd & 3rd Periods

Hello darkness:

My old friend:

I’ve come to talk:

With you again:

Leon scored a goal:

The lack of any celebration says it all. This team is defeated. It’s over, everyone. It’s really, really over.

4-1 Golden Knights, final.


Here come the Oilers:

At least the ENS Oilers Awards won’t be delayed this year.

I almost wish the Oilers won the game in OT just so I could have listened to a clinically ill Kevin Quinn try to muster up an “over timeeeeeeeee winner!”

How ’bout Connor McDavid being called for one of the marginal hooks ever and yet he gets physically fucking assaulted every night and it all goes uncalled. It’s not just an Edmonton thing to complain about this, either. This has nothing to do with predetermined biases. Everyone notices:

Reminder for the small percentage of fans that are actively trying to run Klefbom out of town:

One tough season does not make or break a player. We can be hard on those that are struggling, fine. Hell, I’ll do it here more often than others, because often times I’m more satirical than serious. Obviously, Klefbom has not had a good season. And obviously, Jordan Eberle had a difficult season last year. But these outliers should not influence some illogical overarching consensus that a player is finished or stinks because of one bad year. Let’s remember this for when Klefbom becomes a perennial 45-50 point defenseman with like Boston after we trade him for Zach Senyshyn (one for one) and the radical eye-testers argue that the team needed a substantially worse player because reasons or something.

Congratulations to Jordan Eberle for scoring his 20th goal of the year, by the way. He’s now scored 20 or more goals in all but one of his full seasons in the NHL. We traded him for a guy who migt hit double digits this year. Fingers crossed.

Matthew Barzal will win the Calder. Taylor Hall could win the Hart. The Edmonton Oilers might win the draft lottery.

What did Leon Draisaitl do to deserve two wingers who haven’t scored a goal in a combined 38 games?

Burger Bob blocked me for saying this:

Because he was prone to saying stupid shit like this:

And ya, that about sums up the season. The media personality who is literally on the Edmonton Oilers payroll will die on the sword of this coaching staff and management. This is the same management group responsible for almost single-handedly destroying the last year of Connor McDavid’s entry level contract. And there’s proof: Have you ever tried to rank the Oilers GMs? Like, have you ever said, “Ya, this is bad, but it’s not Tambo-bad!” or anything else of that nature? Well, here you go:

It gets better:

It’s difficult to imagine a scenario where Peter Chiarelli is the Oilers general manager next season, especially when there are factually quantifiable results in heavy favour of his disastrous decisions. However, it’s equally difficult to imagine a situation where Bob Nicholson or Daryl Katz do in fact remove Chiarelli from the team, because Oilers. And who would his replacement be, anyways? Keith Gretzky? Paul Messier? Harrison Katz? Like hell this futile and nepotistic organization would ever look towards a young, progressive thinking manager with new and fresh ideas with regards to buildings a system around the fastest player in NHL history. That’s not what we look for in candidates, nope. Not here. Here, having played for the 1980s Edmonton Oilers and/or having worked for Hockey Canada in any facet is a REQUIRED prerequisite for any and all hockey operations roles within the Oilers, regardless of how unqualified or outdated the rest of your resume might appear.

Gator’s Grinder of the Game

This was an easy one. Jujhar Khaira is tough:

Almost gave it to Leon for having to play with Lucic and Cammalleri all night. That’s the grinder spirit we need.

Most Outstanding Player

Connor could of had five points but Ryan Strome is borderline incapable of burying anything and we also hit like three posts. Also Fleury made some big saves. So it was Connor. It should always be Connor.