Game Day Blog 69/82 (Nice): Oilers @ Flames

Our season is almost complete. It’s almost done. It’s an utter write it off. I’ve found myself cursing every person responsible for keeping Connor McDavid out of the playoffs as I watch the remainder of this pitiful season woefully trickle away. Can’t turn on TSN or Sportsnet without listening to someone drive a stake through the heart of Edmonton because our organization was dumb enough to piss away the ELC of the league’s most talented player. Fuck. Everything.

HOWEVER, this doesn’t mean our last 14 games are not without a cause. Textbook example is tonight. No sense in being subtle, this is why we’re playing tonight:

Tonight, we have the opportunity to take an industrial-sized medieval battering ram and bash the bejesus out of Calgary’s playoff hopes. After tonight Calgary will have only 11 games remaining and, god actually willing, if the Oilers pull this off, the Flames will still have to jump St. Louis (69 GP), Anaheim (70 GP) and one of Colorado (68 GP) or LA (69 GP) to make the playoffs. I want to be their Achilles’ heel. Their krpytonite. Their whatever the fuck it was that killed Wolverine in Logan. As we’d say in Mortal Kombat:

I want eight straight. I want their blood on our hands. Fuck the Calgary Flames. Let’s go.

Tonight’s Opponent: Idiots.

Unless Sammy Chin Ups doubles his career high in points by next season he surprisingly will not be a consistent 70-90 point player by 22-23. It’s kind of a coin flip but to be honest I think that I’d rather have Steven Stamkos. Sam Bennett has 26 points in 70 games but has also has failed to register a point in 52 of them. In 52 games this year elite centre Sam Bennett has provided literally no offense for the Flames. Connor McDavid has seven more goals in his last 19 games than Sam Bennett has all year.

I want eight straight.

What do they have? Listen, fact is we’re going to win the draft lottery because that’s what we do here in Edmonton. We drink. We buy 50/50 tickets. And goddammit we win draft lotteries. We won so many that they changed the rules because of us roughly three separate times, and we still find ways to pull it off. They changed the rules after Yak and we were like okay we’re going to just go ahead and win the most important lottery since Crosby cool okay bye. Though if by some miracle we do not win the lottery, I am actively rooting for Calgary to do it. Recall: Calgary traded an unprotected first round pick to the Islanders this summer for a guy that has two more points than Adam Larsson. Watching the Islanders win Rasmus Dahlin with Calgary’s pick would make up for the last 12 years. Calgary doesn’t have a pick until the third round and they might miss the playoffs.

Meanwhile, Glen Gulutzan blew up at Flames’ practice for the second time this year:

What is he trying to accomplish with this shtick? Honestly. Last time he did this the Flames went on a seven game heater. Fine, congrats. They immediately followed that up with six straight losses, including a 4-3 shootout loss to yours truly. That was in January. Two months later and he’s resorted to the same on-ice childish bullshit that got his team playing .500 hockey in the first place? This guy is the most annoying person in the NHL. I will miss his useless tactics when he’s job hunting in May. Johnny Gaudreau wants to be a Flyer:

Imagine if Connor ever said it ‘would be sweet’ to play for the Leafs hahaha I’d throw myself in front of a train. I want eight straight.

What do we have? Connor McDavid, the man HudlerHugs admitted he would rather not have instead of Monahan and Bennett, has 13 points on his current seven game streak (18 points in his last 11). It’s like someone told Connor ya you can’t win the Hart and then Connor was like oh okay I’ll just score a MILLION BILLION POINTS on a borderline relegation team and then we’ll see what’s up. And some people still aren’t impressed, because playoffs or something:

This is hall of fame mouth-breathing butt stick, Steve Simmons, leaving Connor off the candidates list. Listen, I’m not saying I would vote for McDavid, because I wouldn’t. It’s been a year filled with strong candidates, maybe none stronger than Nathan MacKinnon and the man we traded for all nine of Adam Larsson’s points. That said, if a man is (currently) third in league scoring despite being on what one can only describe as a shit-infested diaper of an organization and you’re not at least talking about him as far as the most valuable player in the league goes then that’s probably a valid reason why The Reporters was cancelled off of Sunday morning TV. You’re going to fault a man that would for sure be one of the finalists for the award this year had it not been for the fact that Peter Chiarelli mathematically eliminated us in August, all because our GM is an egotistically incompetent LANDFILL for brains moronic shit bag? Because the rest of the team couldn’t carry Connor’s water bottle? Because our only mission is not to win championships but instead to hire every single player who played for this team prior to 1991 so the Fairy Godfather can feel like one of the boys on the goddamn bus? Don’t fault Connor for our sins. Put him in the category of MVP candidate or hand in your voting card.

*Disclaimer: My three votes would be Hall, MacKinnon, Wheeler… in that order. Peter Chiarelli has traded two of those players and I’d ballpark it at a 60% chance he returns as our GM next year.*

Connor has 15 points in 10 career games against Calgary haha so okay ya bye. Literally. Bye. Zoooooooooom:

I want eight straight so goddamn much.

Did You Know? Game Day Live is coming to St. Vegas. I’ll see you there.

And this is the 237th instalment of the Battle of Alberta. Our W-L-T-OTL all time record against Calgary is currently 100-109-19-8. I want to be .500 against the Flames by 2020. I want eight straight.

Prediction: Smell your playoffs never, Calgary. Oilers win 6-3. Connor gets four. Jesse seems to light up the Flames as well so he gets a couple. Let’s knock these fuckers out. Eight straight baby let’s go.


PS – Something needs to be done with regards to the NHL schedule. Having a BoA only four or five times per year is unacceptable. Should be a minimum six games per year, and they should all be on Saturday nights. You have one job, NHL schedule makers. One job.