Milan Lucic Scored a Goal After Blog: Milan Lucic Scored a Goal!!

It’s finally over. Live look at the Looch Bear ending his goalless streak:

For the first time in 2018, Milan Lucic scored a goal.It took the big guy 66 games but he has finally reached the 10 goal plateau, joining Denis Malgin, Martin Frk, Oliver Bjorkstrand, Bryan Rust, and former Oiler Jeff Petry among others as players around the league with 10 goals this year. Sportsnet was so confused they put Matt Benning’s name up instead of Looch’s. I can safely say that nobody saw this coming.

In all honesty, good for Looch. You could see the relief in his eyes after that one went in:

He’s literally looking up at God and thanking him. His teammates celebrated with him like he was that wise old veteran that isn’t very good anymore but everybody on the team loves anyways, except he’s 29 and he’s in the second year of a seven year, $42 million contract. Regardless, with that goal, Milan has officially earned himself a Masters victory-style top line exemption for the next 10 years, given that both Todd and the media will now mentally erase the last two months and talk about Lucic is red hot with one goal in his last one game.

The Goals

Things did not start off great. Jason Demers took a point shot that was going no less than 40 feet wide, but fortunately for Arizona, Kris was there:

But then JJ’s beard brought the team back while shorthanded:

Good play by Strome to avoid the stick (should have been tripping, wasn’t getting called, because Oilers) and then hustle the puck up the ice, delay, then fire it on net.

And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for:

Of course his streak ended with a clapper from Nisku. Normally the Oilers are on the other end of slump busting. I always figured Lucic would end his goalless streak in like practice or something, but nope. He did it against a real life other NHL team. I’m not going to lie, it feels kind of nice to be on the other end of that shit stick.

It has been a long, longggggg time since Milan last scored a goal. Here are just a few of the things that have happened between December 23, 2017 and last night:

  • The opening and closing ceremonies of the Olympics were held
  • It snowed in the Sahara Desert for just the third time in 40 years
  • The Philadelphia Eagles won a Super Bowl
  • Kobe Bryant won an Oscar
  • The Oilers hired another former Oiler
  • Elon Musk put a fucking car in space

Back to players who actually score more frequently, here is Jesse Puljujarvi letting go of his signature wrist bomb on a nice little play from a player that “analysts” are insisting we trade:

JESUS that’s a wrist shot that will undoubtedly get Jesse more third line minutes. He fucks. Two points in two games for Nuge.

But, like any Oilers game, our two goal lead proved unsafe. Dvorak buried on an awkward play that would have been icing but Cam let it touch his stick for some inexplicable reason, and then we had a signature Krizzz play:

That is textbook defending by Kris, who was trying to pad his blocked shot stats by giving up the puck in the corner and then lying on the ice in his patented starfish, and then proceeded to try to make a glove save despite not being a goalie. Incredible. I’d be mad if not for the fact that we were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs in the offseason.

So we get over time, and you know what that means:

The NHL has already tried to change the rules for the draft lottery to prevent us from winning it all the time, and I have a sneaky suspicion they’ll likely have to do the same in order to prevent us from winning every over time ever. It’s too automatic. You can’t defend McDavid at 5v5, never mind 3v3. All three Arizona Coyotes tried to attack Connor when he had the puck, and all he had to do was float it over to a wide open Klefbom for his first goal in forever. Game. Two points. Woo.


We should just try to get every game into over time next year. We’d never lose. 82-0.

What a dumb shit. Imagine saying “ya, this year has been a horrifying debacle, and it’s pretty much all Klefbom’s fault.” That’s like me saying this year has been all Kris Russell’s fault for perpetually lying on the ice and literally one-timing a shot into our own net. It’s not. The majority of the issues have been our inability to make any save ever (that’s on Cam) and on our GM willingly making the team worse this summer for reasons beyond anyone’s belief except the propaganda-spewing trolls who felt the need to justify creating a worse roster for cap-related reasons, even though the team has about $10 million in space. Yep.

Patrick O’Sullivan blocked about 3,500 Oilers fans again last night, including yours truly. I was blocked because I favourited a tweet saying that he was wrong for grouping all Oilers fans in the same category as the dipshittingly ignorant assholes that heckled Connor McDavid. I seriously cannot think of a more triggered former player than O’Sullivan. I hate him.

The worst part is, I actually liked O’Sullivan when he played here. This, despite the fact that he provided absolutely nothing of positive mention to the organization in his brief and largely forgettable time as an Oiler. I thought Quinn put him in the doghouse way too early and he had a bad rep because of that. Now I just think he was an easily triggered butthurt imbecile who wanted nothing to do with hockey here and blamed everyone for his misfortune but himself, and now he’s desperately doing everything in what little power he has to remain relevant. This is a player that played for five different organizations and only scored 20 goals once, and still blames the Oilers for everything that happened to him. Fuck you, Patrick O’Sullivan. Get bent you bum.

Jim Matheson is now begging for credit on trade rumours that are non-existent:

This is the point we have reached. He signed off on his tweet, as if we wouldn’t have other wise figured out who was sending it. These are the people who are paid by our largest media corporations to assess the team’s play. Between ‘Matty’ and Spec and the goddamn sink pisser, and Bob Stauffer illogically comparing the Oilers to the 2018 Stanley Cup champion Tampa Bay Lightning, it’s an incredible wonder how the fans haven’t asked for a trade yet.

I’ve loved Aberg and Bear. I want more of those two.

Especially Bear. Get that kid on the first PP and let him clap bombs. AND HE SHOOTS RIGHT. We’ll still trade Nuge for Ben Lovejoy this summer because God is woke and he hates our guts.

In other teams’ news, Brock Boeser is likely done for the season after being sent into his own bench by the obliviousness of Jake Virtanen, who now has not only contributed nothing of note to the Vancouver Canucks, but injured their best player as well. I’ll never forgive Virtanen for the World Juniors. Fuck him with the terrible career of Patrick O’Sullivan.

The Canucks were playing Barzal’s Islanders, therefore we saw a bunch of dumb shit from our Pacific relatives about how Boeser is better than Barzal, none stupider than Jason Botchford (Vancouver’s Staples/Matheson/Spector on steroids) who argued that Boeser deserves the Calder more than 15th highest scoring player – a man who has 69 points (nice) in 67 games – because of a player that Barzal does not actually play with:

For those who live under a rock, Mat Barzal is a centre on his own line, separate from Tavares.

Calgary lost again lol four straight idiots.

I want Calgary to win the draft lottery, assuming we don’t (we will). The Islanders have their first round pick and my LORD that would be something to thoroughly enjoy. Would almost make up for the last 12 years in Edmonton. The Oil and Calgary will have co-created the next Islanders dynasty.

Speaking of the lottery, this is a little thing I like to call ‘foreshadowing’:

That’s not a coincidence.

Gator’s Grinder

Drake Caggiula took off his bird cage to fight Max Domi and that’s the most effort he’s put into a hockey game since he left college.


Ah, what the hell. Let’s give it to the man that’s been forced to deal with a whole lot of shit over the last couple months. A man who has stuck with it all despite all the heckling and adversity.

It was Connor. Great game, Daddy.

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