GQ, Matthews collaborate for a “good but nowhere near generational” photo shoot

 

Three days ago, I published a thing about how Connor had a GQ shoot and Auston did not. I laughed in his face. I said the score was 1-0. That mother fucker tied it up today. And I can safely tell you I did not see this coming. Nope. I feel slightly blindsided. I thought GQ interviewing Connor was a segue into them making him the most and probably only marketable face in hockey but as it turns out they’re a bunch of bush league hacks who invite basically anyone in the league to come get their pictures taken. It’s like a musical chairs of NHL players at GQ right now and I can’t say I condone this from my once-upon-a-time (last week) favourite magazine. They’re intentionally diluting the NHL’s marketable players market. Will they be giving Patrik Laine’s outrageously disproportionate head a photo shoot next? Guy’s got the most ridiculous beard-to-face ratio in the world but hey, GQ is CLEARLY desperate for hockey players. Look at this smug asshole:

Is that $1,500 Belstaff jacket they got on him nice? I mean ya, sure. Big Belstaff guy, I’m not going to lie. I’d even say it probably makes the photos elite… but not generational, like Connor’s. I mean, look at the two shoots side-by-side:

It’s not even close. They look like the protagonist/antagonist combination from every high school movie ever made. It’s like GQ knew exactly what they were doing. Connor’s the greatest player in hockey so give him that iconic Marvel superhero look and Auston’s like a top 3 player on the Leafs so give him that “Vince Vaughn’s character in the shitty season of True Detective” vibe. Brilliant stuff. Fuck that coat.

Obligatory “poor Jack” moment. This is so sad. Live look at Eichel waiting for his GQ photo shoot:

PS – Quick, Auston, give us that “I’ll never quite catch the Art Ross” pose!