GDB Oilers (0-2-0) @ Rangers (1-3-0): Win a game, you idiots

Because Europe, the Oilers have played two hockey games in the span of 10 NHL days, and we looked good in exactly neither of those games. Sitting on those two excruciatingly disgusting displays of athleticism has been unravelingly painful and has created a rather hostile environment around the City of Champs. Today, we get the rebuilding New York Rangers. Suffice to say that a loss tonight would cause chaotic mayhem around Oilersville. This is as big of a must win for the coaching and management staff as a game in October can get. Looking not too far ahead, the Jets game in Winnipeg will be a tough one. Losing to the Rangers heading into our final, probably most difficult road game of the trip, before heading back for the home opener is a… well it’s a frightening thought if you’re part of this organization in any capacity and you’re not named Connor McDavid. Could be some home opener boo birds. I’d say that would be rock bottom but every time we’ve thought we’re at rock bottom we always manage to further rock bottom ourselves. Just win this goddamn game, you idiots.

And holy fuck it’s a matinee. I swear to God if we lose.

Tonight’s Opponent

New York Rangers

All Time Record

74 32 31 9 2

Hey, that’s over .500! We’ve lost five straight to the Rangers so I have a good feeling about this one…

Record at the MSG:

38 17 13 6 2

…and three straight at MSG. We’re so due. They’re rebuilding, so, how tough can it be?

Our Lineup

Oh fuck, ya probably kind of tough. (Update: I write a bunch of shit on the lineup and then the Oil go ahead and make a few changes, fucking everything I wrote up. I will shit in Todd’s cereal. Here’s the updated lineup because whatever).

Rangers Lineup

Both blue lines suck, so that’s nice at least. Hank Lundqvist stood on his head in their first win of the season (against San Jose, thank you NY!) and he’s unquestionably the Rangers best player. He’s also the first actual starting goalie we’ve faced in the 2018-19 season. Think about that. Winless, baby.

Corsica has their forward depth as being much better than ours. Again, that’s a rebuilding hockey team. We started the 2017-18 season as Cup favourites. The McDavid effect is as strong as the fucking Force and it’s still not enough to get the Oilers into statistically relevant status. Hell.

Why We’ll Win

I mean, we kind of have to, right? We can’t lose to the rebuilding Rangers. Not today. Not now. The fans are demanding that heads fall. And then there was this:

Is that a sign of life from the highest ups in the organization? Is that Daryl Katz we hear from his dumbass Malibu home, actually using the internet for things related to the hockey club he owns? A pulse, baby. We have a pulse. Fuck this team.

Also I’m almost 100 per cent sure we’re running the exact same special teams too, so. More LSx5. More dysfunctional penalty killing. Yikes. We’re going to win. I can feel it. But is that a good thing? If you use a bad system and beat a bad hockey team, does the coach still run that system against the good teams? Of course he does. The power play will score today. The second line will score today. And that will be all Todd needs to roll the exact same catastrophic system into Winnipeg, where my arch rivals will slaughter the shit out of our asses.

But at least we’ll be 1-2 when they do it, so. Whatever.


I’m feeling something like, 4-3 Oilers. Connor with three. Jesse’s first of the year today. Book it, baby. LFG.

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