MAB: Chiasson chasing Matthews, Oilers beat defending champs

Knock, knock, knocking on Auston’s dooooooooor.

Knock, knock, knocking on Auston’s dooooooooor.

Somewhere, log-jammed on that piece of shit 401, Auston Matthews squints in his review mirror as a small dot approaches from the west. It’s moving at Connor McLightspeed, because it’s Connor McDavid, and daddy wants his office back. Toronto plays Winnipeg on Saturday, and their game will start roughly one hour after the Oilers take care of Nashville. Two points back? What are the odds Connor reclaims his throne before the Leafs drop the puck? Eleventy-billion per cent?

Also Alex Chiasson is on pace for as many goals (per 82) as Auston damn that’s a real shame. Tough look for the greatest player of all time.

But enough about Auston 70 Points. The Oilers have maintained their alarmingly pleasant win:loss ratio in the games immediately after I crucify the team in a game day blog. It’s becoming freakishly normal. And this wasn’t a bad win at all, like against Winnipeg, for example. This was a very solid 60 minutes of hockey, ending with a well-deserved two points. The Oilers played very, very good. And it was pleasantly surprising.

Every geological epoch or so I encounter a perfect sports day; a day so perfect that it gives you a feeling of unconditionally gratefulness for those crazy Greeks who came up with the idea of doing the sports. And last night… last night was one of those days.

Yes, big win for the Oilers. That’s some very good stuff by our hockey club. I’d like for them to do more of this. Let’s go, baby.

1st Period

The first of many:

Per Elias Sports, Evan Bouchard’s goal was the least celebrated first NHL goal in the television era.

Evan Bouchard, just turned 19 years old like five days ago, scores his first National Hockey League goal and celebrated like a man who just found out he saved 46 cents by switching to GEICO. I can dig it. He seems like a big, quiet nerd. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m a big basketball and football fan, so I appreciate a quality celebration post-slam dunk/three pointer/touchdown. And nothing gets the ol’ joystick going like when Connor busts out a one-knee celly in full flight with an on-the-fly fist pump OH GOD OKAY BE RIGHT BACK I just need to see one:

FUCKKK MAN anyways Bouchard, if he’s the type of stereotypical old school hockey guy that celebrates all his goals as if he’s done it thousands of times before than so be it. Do you, Bou.

Oh, and that was a power play goal that was… wait for it… scored by the second unit!!!

Oh I’m seriously serious. I honestly thought we might go the whole year without seeing one from those guys. THAT’S CALLED DEPTH, FOLKS. Pittsburgh was not a drill. I REPEAT: PITTSBURGH WAS NOT A DRILL.

1-0 Oilers inject secondary scoring into my veins.

2nd Period

Raise your hand if you thought this was Connor:

I was off the couch screaming at Auston Matthews from three provinces away when *GASP*:

IT WASN’T CONNOR. That was buddy Nuge, being an independent little Nuge and scoring a goal without Connor on the ice. The Oilers and their “building a dump truck around McDavid” thing really sucked but at least they did right and kept Nuge. Everyone who wanted to trade RNH after the playoffs should slap themselves in the face with a club hammer. One more closer look because holyyy Nuge:

Nice to fucking know ya, Nick Backstrom. At least you finally grabbed that Cup before your death RIP.

John Carlson really did his best Oilerz there. Say what you want about Kris Russell (I say a lot) but even he wouldn’t try to throw it back with a defender taped to him hahahaha I think anyways who the fuck really knows.

Washington scored to make it a one goal game before the end of the period.

2-1 Oilers

Dagger Period

Speaking of “doing that Oilerz!” here comes a former player goal at the expense of another team for a change:

JESUS that dude can rifle the puck. If Alex keeps playing like this he will undoubtedly earn a full NMC from Peter Chiarelli.

That shot is actually bananas. Guy fired a wrister from above the circles through a defender and off two bars then in. Every goal he’s scored has been sick. He has to lead the league in sick goals per 60. I’ll check with Woodguy later I don’t know us Advanced Stats guys we’re like the Avengers man every time I look there’s a new stat per 60 and I’m still a student in this game for real.

Connor added an empty netter and dammit I forgot to get the GIF of it. McPoint number 14 on and also Nuge has 11 in his last six games!!

Big score for team Nuge. I want the McNugent-Hopkins Express forever, baby. THAT’S A WIN LET’S GO!

4-1 Oilers


Chiasson has more goals in his last two games than Milan Lucic has in his last 53.

That was one of those games where Connor had what felt like about 10 high danger scoring chances. Imagine he doesn’t play against Holtby? If we played against Mike Smith at least 10 of those go in.

Guys… the team’s numbers with McDavid off the ice… they are… THEY ARE improving!

Look at that goal share go up! Is 32% good? Not exactly. But it keeps going up, and up, and up, and one day it might even get close to our goal share with Connor on. WOOAH baby. Is that because of the recent solid play of Leon Draisaitl?

“Gah!” indeed! So nope, it’s not. I thought Drai played better and he has definitely been more noticeable in a positive manner over the last two games, but those numbers up there… they’re not great, let me tell ya. But know what? A win’s a win. I’ll bask in the glory of this accomplishment for the rest of the day if I damn well please. Also just think about what could potentially happen if Leon gets going again OHHHHH shit the Oilers could flourish!

Fuck sakes, I’m back again. Can’t see how this will unavoidably crush me.

Really though, that was one of the best statistical games I’ve watched the team play in a while. Coincidentally, the team appears to be dumping the puck in less. I wonder if the two are related*?

*They’re related.

4-3-1 so far is actually very nice. Much better than I thought real talk.

Imagine McDavid and Nuge both get over 100 points?

Okay, let’s talk about it:


HOLY SHIT DID YOU GUYS EVEN MAKE SAVEZZZ?! WOW though actually I do want to extend my condolences to the Tkachuk family, first Brady hits the IR and now it looks like Matt will probably miss the next few months as well:

Scary stuff right there. If only his errant mouth guard was able to prevent such a benign blow to the chops.

Found my porn for the day:

The Flames have basically become a factory line of scoring chances against. I’d like to say this is karma for the team because culturephobic but this is tremendously terrible. This is a complete systematic failure and I’m gnawing on popcorn as I watch it unfold.  Mike Smith is playing toll booth attendant to hockey pucks. Their best players are getting, for lack of a better phrase, miserably fucked in their own end. But at least they dumped that selfish museum lover!! Bill Peters has quickly become my favourite coach in Flames history.

Elite centre Sam Bennett has three points in ten games. It’s still the most thermonuclear take in the history of takes:

Hottest Take of the Night

We were 3-2 after we beat the Bruins literally last week. Stay hot, Terry!

PS Stuff

PS – This is my first recap blog since last week. A few of you have noticed, and I love that. Thanks for asking for more. I actually love that and I promise more will come. As some of you know, I write a pretty big exam in exactly one week from today (Friday), so I’ve been doing some final prep work for that and it’s cut into my blogging hours. Probably for good reason, but you know, I do love writing about this team. I can’t guarantee I’ll be all over next week’s upcoming games, straight up. But I can say that after next Friday I’ll be fully engaged in blog-mode once again. I wish myself good luck. One love, Oil Country. Get Nashville tomorrow.

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