MAB: Meh… but finally in the win column

Okay so it’s not technically a morning or the morning after but it’s still a post game blog and it makes no sense to publish this shit tomorrow, so happy Saturday! We have a win.

The Thunderdome inside the Rog Mahal would not have been pleased with an 0-4 start, let me tell you. It was a boring, mundane, and methodical method of victory, but I guess it’s still a win. I thought they played horrible at times, and looked semi-crisp at others. Take those two points, get on a plane, and get the hell back to Canada. Connor’s great and the Iceman comethed. Here we go!

1st Period

Shots on goal were 10-7 for New York. This was a garbage period of hockey, epitomized by this play:

At first glance that looks like Lucic’s man and I was also guilty of thinking that, but I think it actually might have been Draisaitl’s? Leon came off the bench and I’m pretty sure that was his check down low. Either way, one of them should have taken the open forward, and the other should have covered the blue line (normally the winger, hence I give Lucic the benefit of the doubt more than Leon in this moment). Bullshit.

And because we’re only getting points when Connor scores:

Here’s Connor carrying the puck in the zone (nice), throwing on the breaks, and finding Darnell wide open on the drive in. Darnell chucks the puck on net (pucks on net!) and Baby Nuge was there to bang home his first of the year. We would have zero goals in three games without Connor this year. Think about that. Zero goals. I will drink the Pint’s back bar completely out of their Sambuca tonight.


2nd Period


Unreal play by the Large Child and an actual good drive by Drake Caggiula. See? I can be nice to him. We generated absolutely nothing on the ensuing power play, because it’s fucking useless.


3rd Period

Five goals in 2018-19 and Connor has points on ALL OF THEM:

This was another unholy dump of a power play that was saved because the Rangers gave Connor McDavid enough space to fill the Boötes void. That’s a mistake that we’re prone to making. It’s nice when other teams fuck up hard. Like here:

Imagine not burying that? Woof. Thanks for the two points, New York. We actually desperately needed them.

2-1 Oilers, final


Call me when Auston Matthews gets covered like this:

A win’s a win. But that win bored me. 27-24 shots. Meh. Very meh. Against any other team other than maybe Ottawa or Vancouver and I’m preaching what a hard-fought road win it was. Alas. It was against the Rangers. They’ve been rebuilding since February.

Like, I don’t want to sound greedy. But when you’re 0-2, and you’re only getting goals when you best player contributes to them, and you’re in the fourth year of the game’s most generational player since maybe Lemieux, it’s fair to expect brilliance. And the Rangers are garbage. That was definitely a matinee for both teams. Everyone except Connor and Cam and Nuge looked kind of asleep. The game just ended and I already forget about 50 per cent of it. If this was a middle of December tough road win and the boys were 5-8 games over five hundo I’d feel way better about this but I’ll take any wins right now. And Cam looked awesome. I’m officially declaring him as back.

The big news of the day, of course, was that Daryl Katz remembered he owns a hockey team:

It was nice to see Daryl take a break from lounging in his swimming pool of taxpayer money down in Malibu to subtly cast his shadow over the men in charge of this nuclear dump.

And really, you think Daryl goes to the game if it’s in Columbus or Buffalo or Ottawa or goddamn Winnipeg? Hell no. He left Malibu with his perpetually drunk VP and made a little New York trip out of it. Watch the boys. Talk about rich guy shit. Make the staff sweat a bit. The usual, if attending games was the usual for this man. Instead, he landed his arena by threatening relocation, then bolted out of town the moment that structure was complete. He’s made enough money off the Oilers and Connor and embezzling tax payers to serve hundreds of lifetimes, and that empty suite overlooking the ice inside Rogers Place like the fucking Death Star serves as proof of his (lack of) give-a-shitting. And yet, he’s my only hope to fire the coach and management directly into outer space. I would love for Daryl to bring the Hammer of Thor down on our entire front office. I have no choice but to be team Daryl, even if I want to spit in his soup. This is the most insignificant I have felt in my entire life.

The boys!

Both the best in their respective games. Wayne the greatest player of all time, and Riggins was the best/only option at fullback in Dillon, Texas. You just know they’ve been siphoning cocktails since puck drop.

Give him the goddamn Norris, too:

People who don’t watch Connor McDavid think Connor McDavid’s defensive game is flawed because they refuse to believe anyone can be that perfect. They think that because he’s so utterly dominant offensively that there must be holes in his defensive game. These mouthbreathing boxes of mashed potatoes only watch Connor McDavid when he plays the Leafs. Kick them off the internet. Look at this shit:

He steals the puck (defensive!) and sets up the driving winger, who doesn’t score. Then he gets the puck back, cycles it and sets up a one-timer for the winger, who still doesn’t score. Then he gets the goddamn rebound, skates away from the check, and uses his body to gain position and feeds the down low defenseman for what should have been a TAP IN… but he doesn’t score, because his hands are made of cement. But sure, Matthews plays a more complete game. Drink piss, you idiots.

After nine period of hockey, the Edmonton Oilers have… five goals. And Connor has points on all of them. Every single one. Because of course he does. This is Peter’s masterpiece. Three years of tinkering and manipulating a roster so that it’s his and his only and this was the result of his bullshittery. Imagine working on something for three years only to have it suck an enormous amount of junk? Took a page right out of Taylor Swift’s playbook.

On the other hand, Connor does have five in three. And he spent the better part of a week shaking off his jet lag. And all the other players on our roster are immune to generating their own offense.

McDeaths (1):

Hottest Take of the Game

*watches great player go for laps around his bad team*:

Hey Michael:


Issa FIRE take. Basically every Ranger fan in the world was furious about the officiating this afternoon, unaware that our power play has the effectiveness as bike lanes in Edmonton. Apparently they were screwed over before? I’m not sure. I don’t care. There should have been a penalty on Jason Garrison. I’m not sure how big of a difference it would have made. Both teams didn’t look terrific. But scapegoat, New York!

The Game as a Song

It really is a good song. Eat shit, Yankees.

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