GDB Avs (7-6-3) @ Oilers (8-7-1): A Game of Thrones
I wasn’t going to write today. I am comically hungover and only want my couch and football injected into my veins. Then I met a couple buddies last night who told me to get on my shit and start blogging more, and so I promised them I’d write one today. Woke up and regretted the hell out of that. But, Christ. I regress. I kind of have to blog this one. It’s Sunday, and Sunday is Thrones night, just ask HBO. Those boys also told me to go easy on Drake Caggiula. I promised I’d do that too.
Ya I ain’t gonna do that dog.
I take myself away from football for five minutes to preview the battle for first place (in points for) because it’s what I need to do. I’ve been hyping Throne Watch since last year when Kucherov built his lead while Connor suffered from West Nile and pneumonia at the same time. All he did was bounce back and dominate despite being on a team that otherwise easily would have been relegated in any European football system had it not been for his heroics. I relaunched Throne Watch this year when TSN, Sportsnet, and Leafs Twitter were ready to declare Auston Matthews hockey’s Jesus Christ. And I’ve subsequently continued the Watch as Connor continues to climb back towards his rightful place by birth law even after Auston and Toronto’s demise came predictably early. The current intruder is this man:
As you can see, his shot fucks. Dude’s an absolute player and Colorado’s first line might be the best in hockey, anyways get the hell out of Connor’s way.
You either loved this team or hated this team as a kid. I was the latter, of course. I despise the Avs. Claude Lemieux was easily one of the ten least likeable players in NHL history, and though I appreciated Joe Sakic, watching Rob Blake and Patrick Roy and Adam Foote and Dan Hinote and goddamn Milan Hejduk lift the Stanley Cup felt like taking a monkey shit fastball to the face. Puke on this franchise. Look at these idiots:
When you leave the game tonight, don’t forget your free energy efficient showerhead, courtesy of Xcel Energy!
Grab it, install it and fill out a survey to enter-to-win four Club Lexus tickets and a Zamboni ride! pic.twitter.com/M89CbO3ukO
— Colorado Avalanche (@Avalanche) December 3, 2017
Ottawa gave these guys the first overall pick. Congratulations, Melnyk. Look what you’ve done. If Colorado’s next dynasty is started because of another Canadian team’s dipshittery I’ll be filled with both joy and the desire to throw myself right into those goddamn metal balls on the Whitemud.
Imagine Daryl giving us a free shower head? I’d throw it at his Death Star of a luxury suite.
Yesterday I got a text asking me if I was upset. I legit just finished watching the Raptors win their NBA-leading 12th game of the year and could not have cared less about the Oilers in that particular moment. Even took me a few seconds to realize that person was talking about JP going down to Bako. No, I’m not upset. He should be down there. Yamo should be down there. They both should have been sent down weeks ago, but I’m convinced our coaches and managers do not talk to each other. The disconnect in this organization is absolutely hysterical, as mentioned TODAY by former Oiler doer of nothing, Iiro Pakarinen. Oilers humpers came to the coach’s defense:
Read the article in Finnish. Google translate seems to be accurate enough. The perspective is around Pulju and his management, but Iiro speaks only on his behalf. He was especially annoyed that the coach never told why he (anyone?) was scratched.
— Mari Lönnberg (@LonnbergMari) November 11, 2018
And then a Finn promptly came in and shut them the fuck up. God bless Mari and her knowledge of the Finnish language. Recall: Joe Thornton also said the same thing about Todd. So, ya, our coach ignores his players. Outstanding shit. At least we’re not the Senators, but my God.
I miss Jesse but whatever.
Drake Caggiula is the best player on the third line. There. I complimented him.
Our fourth line is just simply horrible.
I need to pay a little closer attention tonight but straight up, I haven’t loved Rattie with McDavid.
Win a goddamn game. I love you.
Marko Dano continues his quest to play for every Central Division team and Tyson Jost is a good St. Albert kid, but their first line is the only thing you need to worry about. McDavid, Nate Mac and Rantanen should be extra motivated tonight, which should make for some incredible hockey at least. Having said all that, Soderberg or some idiot will go off for three points tonight.
What the hell is a Sheldon Dries?
It’s not as bad as it’s been in years, let me tell ya. But boy would I do things to see Connor out there with Nikita Zadorov. Nikita Zadorov is the only thing slower than the concession lines at Rogers Place. That actually might be the matchup that Bednar wants, too. Throne Watch is actually at an all time high tonight.
He’s lost five straight. Bum.
Other News and Shit
Peter spoke to the media today because nobody asked him to, and as you’d expect, it was a smashing success:
Fire this idiot.
— Serious One. (@wesoilers) November 11, 2018
— Lynn Mercereau (@lynnmercereau) November 11, 2018
I never watched this , I can't watch him fumble over his words and thoughts anymore …
— captain bitchin (@warringtondj) November 11, 2018
That double “what a fool” was just an unreal shot by David. I’d say fuck Peter Chiarelli, but that would require exertion. Just go away, please leave me alone.
The Edmonton Oilers went 2-0-1 last season vs Colorado.
Connor McDavid was first star in all three games and picked up a total of 6-1-7
— Bob Stauffer (@Bob_Stauffer) November 11, 2018
Ya we’ve kind of owned these guys of late. And Connor is out there starving for points. He has carved the Avs in his career, going for 7 goals and 15 points in 8 games YES PLEASE!
UGHHH fuck yes. I’m feeling it tonight. I’m PUMPED to watch my captain take his Throne back while also ending this losing streak on his own. Let’s go, baby. Oilers win 6-2. Connor with four. The king is back.