Mini GDB Hawks (6-4-3) @ Oilers (6-4-1): We talkin’ accountability!

*rubs eyes* Well… that’s gotta be a typo! Drake played even more terrible than usual on Tuesday, and our coach is a good Western man who preaches accountability! No way Todd would go against the moral bar he just set (with our fourth overall Finnish guinea pig of a 20-year-old product) by empowering a player who was directly responsible for one goal against and indirectly responsible for another a mere FORTY-EIGHT hours ago!

I’m still not convinced. That juxtaposes all that Todd has berated us with. He’s publicly sermonized about accountability and how it’s the necessary ingredient for becoming a regular NHL player! I’m sure 91 was supposed to be something else. He just mixed up 98 and 91. Or maybe he meant to type 19? Because we know Koskinen is playing, and even our backup goalie would be a better first line option than Drake okay fuck me it’s happening.

I wasn’t planning on blogging today. I write the GMAT in a little under 24 hours and I’m trying to memorize every last fucking flashcards of math and shit. But the only thing I hate more than memorizing formulas and fucking perfect cube roots is sticking Drake Caggiula on the first line ONE GAME after he herped and derped and dipshitted his way around the ice. On one hand, I should be thrilled that Jesse is finally back after spending a week in the box. I’m actually okay with him being lined up with 27 and 18 too. Way less pressure to produce on a line with the two guys who are allergic to producing, plus his numbers were kind of okay with Strome at the beginning of the year (Strome’s play has statistically and noticeably dropped since JP was shifted off his wing).

On the other hand, I’m not okay with Todd WILLINGLY trying to test the boundaries of Connor McDavid’s divine powers. We know he can produce with anyone but I showed you the numbers of 97 w/ 91.

They’re horrendous. HORRENDOUS.

The only logical explanation is that Todd has been directed by the NHL and/or the CIA to limit Connor’s extraterrestrial-caliber torment of this league because A) he’s making Auston look bad, and B) our species (and hockey culture) can’t handle watching mortals get physically emasculated by an alien who preys on professional hockey defenseman; an alien who runs around at turbo speed thinking he can just video game maneuver around every future hall of fame. Blasphemy! So naturally they stuck him with the only player on the team who can (and has) successfully diminished his offensive capabilities. Oh, Connor has points in 10 of 11 games this year? Oh, Connor’s within arm’s length of Rantanen et al. and wants his Throne more than Jesse wants pizza? Let’s stick him with THIS GUY!

That said, McDavid looks like he’s capable of producing with 40-year-old beer leaguers this year, so who knows? Regardless, this choice is more proof that Todd doesn’t give a shit about accountability, but rather his decisions are based solely on a preconceived bias.

We’re playing Chicago tonight. Already beat these assholes on Sunday. You know the lineup. I hope we kill a penalty today.

Prediction

On Tuesday we played a team on the second half of their back-to-back and right after they lost to the Vancouver Canucks. Tonight, we’re playing a team on the second half of a back-to-back who also just lost to the Vancouver Canucks. These are the games we need to win. Can’t be burnign through the Nashville’s and Boston’s and Winnipeg’s and Washington’s just to lose to a tired Minnesota and Chicago. Fuck that noise. Whatever. Oilers win 6-3. McDavid gets two power play goals. Todd credits himself.

PS – Drake will get like five points tonight just because I wrote this. I can feel it in my sack. Just watch. And I’d be happy, because that would mean we probably won the game.

PSS – Every time DeBrincat lights it up I remember we decided not to draft one of Connor’s OHL linemates with our 2nd round pick in 2016. And no disrespect to Ty Benson, because I like the kid. But DeBrincat was there and he’s racked up 66 points in 95 career NHL games AND he had that pre-established chemistry with Connor McDavid. Meanwhile, I’m sitting writing 700 words about how we’re literally playing Drake fucking Caggiula on our first line while simultaneously hoping Benson finishes the year in Bako without misplacing a bone or a limb.


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