MA/GD Hybrid Blog: Tough one in the frozen hellscape, back to the Mahal we go

This kind of goes without saying, but Jesse’s going to make a girl very happy one day.

Tough loss in the ‘Peg. Honestly, when I wrote the game day blog I did so with probably the blindest and most careless optimism I’ve attempted, at least since the early ENS days. Did not expect to get a point, never mind actually win. And we were sooooo close! Then this happened:

This is a great visual of the game because you can clearly see exactly where the third period started. We were outshot 17-2 (!!!) in the third. Might as well quickly recap before we get into the game day stuff:

1st and 2nd Period

Spoons scored:

But then Winnipeg responded with two quick goals. In the spirit of Christmas, we gifted Perreault an open lane to the net on their first goal, but it was still a soft backhand that you want Talbot to save. Their second goal was just a tire fire of a clearing attempt combined with a really tough bounce.

Maybe don’t leave Patrik Laine wide open in the slot?

Both wingers were on the right wall, and the Amish Malfoy was able to receive the pass, think about making a potion, say “expecto patronum,” and then bury his 22nd goal of the year. Yes, Talbot got a piece of the puck. I don’t really fault him here. That’s the NHL’s second leading goal scorer walking in all alone. You don’t blame the goalie when he doesn’t quite get all of an Ovechkin shot. Chiasson missed his man, but it wasn’t the end of the world because…

…because Chiasson immediately made up for the mistake by rifling a McPass on the cage, and Darnell was there to bury the rebound with his stopping-but-not-kicking foot. As you’d expect, Winnipeg handled this goal very well:

Really sucks when Miss Winnipeg chimes in with the soccer comment because the puck legally went off a stopping foot and into the net. I know they didn’t have National Hockey League hockey in their city for like decades until the expunged the poor Thrashers but come on Winnipeg. Learn the goddamn rules. Tough look when you’re crying online about a legal play. Tell your tendy not to fire a rebound out to Thunder Bay. McPoint number 44 let’s go. Boys weren’t done either. And when I say boys, I specifically mean “the boy” or “the child-man” as I call him sometimes. I predicted one Jesse fuck. And boy, did he fuck:

Out-worked that idiot Calgarian Josh Morrissey, won the puck, cycled it behind the net, threw it in the crease and got his first assist of the season thanks to Khaira going to the cage. I LOVE these goals. That’s some Oilers hockey right there, baby! Three points in five career games against the Jets for my boy.

h/t to Jeff for the photo

Yes he does, Sportsnet. Jesse FUCHS! Why not, one more before the end of the frame:

Mmmmmmm that’s the second straight game where Leon’s made an absolutely flirtatious backhand dish on the tape of Connor. This time, McDaddy received the pass and put the return feed exactly where it needed to be. Alex Chiasson has 13 goals this year. He’s officially tied a career high. He’s only played 26 games because Todd healthied him for pretty much the entire first month (recall: it took us approximately three weeks to play six games). McPoint number 45, baby. St. Albert was man-handling the Score and Win at this point.

4-3 (?!?) Oilers

And then that goddamn 3rd Period

Drake Caggiula had maybe the worst shift in his entire career as an Oiler, and that’s saying a lot because most of his shifts are combustible piles of walrus shit. He had three turnovers and one “I’m going to try to stick lift yep nope that didn’t work oh well” plays on one shift before they finally scored and the fucking nightmarish 80 seconds was put to rest. Nikita Nikitin called, he wants his puck-moving back. Drake didn’t see another shift after that one. Todd would have played him in the final two minutes.

4-4 annnnd let’s get this over with so we can move on and get ready for Philly:



That idiot Calgarian Josh Morrissey. Nurse, ignoring the support from Draisaitl, just completely forgot to shift off Scheifele and cover his man, and basically dared Morrissey to shoot. He shot, alright. From the face-off dot, uncontested, with an absolute floater of a wrist shot that trickled by Cam.

5-4 Jets. Alright fuck out of here with that game.

Today’s Opponent

The Philadelphia Gritty’s

What a genius move. More on this ultimate first ballot hall of fame enigma in a minute.

Our Lineup

Oh baby, welcome to the Jones era. And who comes out?

Jason Garrison is so bad. Wideman is not great. But Jason Garrison is so bad. Poor Caleb. Welcome to Edmonton, kid!

Forwards are the same. Koskinen in the crease at the Rog where he’s essentially Iapetus.

Their Lineup

Okay their goaltending situation makes me thirsty:

Stolarz is rocking a 3.80 GAA this year. Live look at Connor:

Connor’s seven back of His throne and has points in 13 of 14 games, including five multi-point performances. He has nine points in his last four games.

They’re dressing the exact same roster that they had on Wednesday, when they blew that lead against Calgary. I want to physically harm them for doing that. You mind-numbingly dumb idiots don’t deserve Gritty.

Radko Gudas sucker-punched Claude Giroux in the head. Send them both to St. Louis.


It him…

This was the greatest decision any North American franchise has ever made, maybe only slightly behind the Colts drafting Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf and even then I’m not sure. Born in Chernobyl, Gritty was raised by expired nuclear acid and brought over by the Philadelphia Flyers in an effort to distract the hockey world from their god awfully horrific roster. The Flyers have stunk like a Terry Jones dump all year, but I bet you had no idea, or at least you had no idea until they fired Hextall. And I don’t blame you one bit for not noticing. Nobody has talked about the Flyers on-ice performance this year because of this psychopath, who has dominated the headlines so much you’d think he was the captain and star player of the team. He is their identity now. Not Claude Giroux. It him, Gritty. He’s doing national talk shows, he’s blowing up humans during intermissions. I’d bet my salary he’s in the next Meek Mill single. The world can’t look away. Meanwhile, the Flyers are a fucking catastrophic derailment on the ice and nobody gives a shit, all because the entertainment department gave their mascot the orbiting eyes of a man who just annihilated six straight lines of Colobmian cocaine. I’d trade Talbot and Hunter to Philly for Gritty if not for the fact that Philly would say no.

However, no amounts of Gritty can prevent what Connor’s about to do to the Flyers tonight. Fuck Dale Weise with the Liberty Bell.


I’ll be at this one so sorry Twitter, no GIFs tonight. 8-2 Oilers. Connor with nine.

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