GDB: Fuck the NHL (and Ryan Kesler), it’s time to be bad

Oilers against the world. Notorious goon Connor McDavid has officially been imprisoned by the NHL for his intentionally malicious decapitation attempt of one Nicklas Leddy.

Look, bias aside, I was concerned when this play occurred, both for Nick Leddy’s health and for what the NHL might view the hit as. Was happy to see Nick Leddy basically not miss a shift, and thought that maybe the league would take that plus Connor’s lack of a violent history as variables to consider in the hearing. But the NHL has altered Rule 48 so that targeting is no longer a question, and as such, the rule states:

… a hit resulting in contact with an opponent’s head where the head was the main point of contact and such contact to the head was avoidable.

Was contact avoidable? Yes and no. Technically, McDavid could have completely avoided his man, thereby not putting himself and Nick Leddy in a situation where a hit is required, but also allowing his man easy zone access and therefore creating structural problems in the defensive zone. Maybe I’m exaggerating here, maybe not. I don’t know. All I know is that thanks to yesterday, I now have an injection of Oilers pride that I haven’t had since maybe the playoffs. All my negativity and despise towards Bob Nicholson, Daryl Katz and the OEG went right out the frozen window after NHL suspended His Generational Highness two games. I was sort of back after they fired Pete but now I’m all in again. Fuck this league. Never forget:

I feel like this guy:

… but with a grudge the size of Daryl’s Death Star of a luxury suite. I’m ready to unleash all of my built up anger on the Ducks. Let’s fucking go, baby.

Tonight’s Opponent

Kesler interfered with Talbot. I want that printed on my wedding invitations once I find a girl who’ll actually talk to me. I want that in my wedding vows. I want that engraved on my tombstone. I will never forgive the NHL, the video room, and Ryan Kesler’s overpaid non-Cup winning ass.

Our Lineup

*guessing*

Rattie – Draisaitl – Kassian
Lucic – RNH – Gagner
Rieder – Cave – Chiasson
Malone – Brodziak – Currie

Klefbom – Larsson
Nurse – Russell
Sekera – Benning

Koskinen

No confirmed starter yet but the Cock said he wants to play Koskinen as much as possible down the stretch so, expect Stolarz to get his first start against whatever’s left of Ottawa next week.

I have no idea what the lines will be. Would love to see Gagner on the first line with Draisaitl but he’s played with Nuge more so that’s more likely. I’m guessing the blue line stays the same, they were kind of good against New York.

Boo These Idiots

Again, I’m ball parking. They played last night so we won’t know until game time, but something like this:

Ritchie – Rakell – Perry
Jones – Henrique – Terry
Shore – Grant – Silfverberg
Gibbons – Fuckhead – Rowney

Lindholm – Manson
Fowler – Del Zotto
Megna – Montour

Boyle?

Ryan Miller played against the Flames yesterday so there’s a chance we’ll see undrafted 26-year-old Kevin Boyle tonight because John Gibson has the half-life of a hydrogen isotope. Boyle is a career 1-1 with, amazingly, a 1.51 GAA and a 0.955 SV%. It’s the smallest sample size that is known to mankind, but still. His one win was a shutout against the Canucks just eight days ago.

My frozen heart warms to molten proportions seeing Ryan Kesler’s seven points in 53 fucking games buried on Anaheim’s fourth line. I wouldn’t trade Lucic for him. He’s finished. A once force-to-be-reckoned-with NHL player has been fractionalized into an oversized fourth line boat anchor and has successfully become the only thing more useless than those shitty balls beside the Whitemud. Let’s watch Max Domi one-punch Kesler’s career into the bottom six:

More Stuff

The year was 2017. The day was April 22. I was pants-shitting drunk at Mercer as its structural foundation tried its best to withstand the pressure caused by hundreds of maniacal Oilers fans creating a category 9 earthquake on the southeast corner of 104th and 104th. We knocked out the Sharks. My bill that night was scary and I didn’t give one single damn. I booked a trip to Anaheim that night with an ENS fan who I had really never met to go watch game one in Orange County. His name is Ben. I went down and stormed the Honda Center like it was fucking Normandy with thousands of other Oilers fans. And as me and my new friend Ben were showered in beer and popcorn, I blissfully drank Orange County tears as our Baby Oilers beat their Ducks 5-3. To this day it was a top three trip of my life. Nothing could have knocked me down in that moment. What the hell happened after that? Peter should never be allowed in Edmonton ever again for taking away my opportunity to be an annoyingly intrusive Oilers fan at an away playoff game for at least two years.

I reluctantly say two years because I feel like our chances of making the playoffs this year no longer exist. Shame I now feel sorrow about this borderline categorical truth because I truly care about this team again. HOWEVER, until that e- is beside our name in the standings, we are not out of shit. If we somehow win these two games while Connor serves time in NHL prison then we’re making the goddamn playoffs. Book it.

And if not then we’ll probably win the draft lottery once again. It’s one or the other. Either way, we’ll be sending one big metaphorical middle finger to the NHL for their blatant dipshittery and their unholy treatment of Connor McDavid. Judas died too, after all, and you never hear about his traitorous ass being reborn.

He hath spoke:

I stopped skating by the red line, which probably isn’t good for the backcheck

– Connor McDavid, who isn’t a leader, according to John Shannon.

If we’re going to pick which guy to protect I’m going to protect myself first.

– Connor McDavid, who has never been protected by the refs nor the league in any one of his 4.5 NHL seasons

A King, always and truly. Live look at what Connor’s going to do to Toronto once he’s released from jail on Wednesday:

Prediction

We’re winning tonight. Our record without Connor McDavid this year is 0-1-1. Our record, since 2017, when Connor McDavid does not get a point is 3-26-3. Since Connor cannot get a point tonight, that record is in fact, relevant to this situation. That’s not good. But three wins, hey?

5-0 Oilers. Gagner with three. Suck our ass, NHL.

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