GDB: Whatchu gonna do when the NHL refuses to protect you?

It’s deadline day. People think we didn’t acquire anything but I disagree. We acquired attitude no more than three days ago. No supplementary discipline for Corey Perry?

Did he receive a phone call? No. An email? No. A text? Fax? PAGER MESSAGE? MORSE CODE?! No. Nothing. He probably did talk to Parros, but it wasn’t about his intentional forearm to Darnell’s head:

Best Friends Forever!

The NHL did Darnell dirty. They did the Oilers dirty. Blatant disrespect. Welcome to the Bad Boys Club, Darnell. As Mike Lowrey famously said:

It’s time to be bad again. I’m in a good mood today. Not because of the Oilers, but because today was literal proof that there are very dumb GMs out there. Once we put a rationally intelligent adult in the GM chair oohhhh boy, the NHL is going to be so boned! Just call Jim Rutherford and Paul Fenton and Pierre Dorion and Kevin Shoveldaysoff until someone takes Lucic and Russell for a prospect and an undervalued winger. Three straight for the NHL’s newest bad guys on the line tonight. Let’s go smoke the Preds.

Tonight’s Opponent

Nashville… Sabrecats??

HELLO this is me thinking ’bout all that shit I wanna say to Teeps after this hearing this:

My boy and former grossly underpaid ENS staffer Teeps has been intentionally ignoring me a bit because he’s definitely not reached out for a “hey how’s it going want to bowl want to have cold beers?” since a group of concerned students made their plea for the Perds to change their name to the Sabrecats, because Predators. Just sucks to see that.

I mean… really, if Nashville changed their name to the Sabrecats would anyone outside of the NHL diehards ever know? Would anyone even care? I’m pretty sure I thought their name was the Sabrecats for the first five years in the league. Like I swear that’s what they first called them. That’s some Berenstain Bears v. Berenstein Bears matrix glitch shit. The coolest thing the Preds organization has ever done involves their fans chanting discouraging facts about opposing players during the game.

Our Lineup

Well, it’s exactly the same because the org didn’t want to trade Chiasson and/or (preferably and) Kassian today.

So here it goes:

Same as Saturday.

I’m lazy and tired. Deadline day put me asleep for what feels like the 15th consecutive year. I had some laughs today, sure. I’ll get into those in a minute. But we did’t do anything, and Connor’s still serving his sentence, so let’s say the lineup is exactly the same as the one that just won.

Team Currie and Team Gagner for the rest of the year, obviously.

Their Lineup

OKAY so I already had this blog typed up and ready to go, but then Nashville made two last minute trades that made me scrap all the shit I originally wrote. So, let’s look at their updated lineup:

Forsberg – Johansen – Arvidsson
Fiala – Turris – Jarnkrok
Boyle – Bonino – Hartman
McLeod – Sissons – Grimaldi

Josi – Ellis
Ekholm – Subban?
Irwin – Weber

Rinne

So, they’re going to be shorthanded-ish:

No word if Simmonds or Granlund will be available for the Preds tonight, and if that’s the case then look for *checks notes* I have no notes on these guys. No fucking idea. Maybe they’ll dress Mike Fisher again? What the hell else does Nashville have?

On a deadline note, I like those trades for the Preds. I like them even more now that they’re probably taking two NHL forwards out of their lineup tonight. Sort of evens the playing field a bit, considering we only have like two NHL forwards with Connor in the slammer.

On Trades and Stuff

Yaaaaaaaaa so we didn’t move Chiasson today, nor did we deal Kassian. And what’s worse is that in Keith Gretzky’s interview, I’m pretty sure they actually just brought in Steve Tambellini instead of Keith to see if anyone actually noticed. Keith’s comments were… concerning:

Worried about injuries? Buddy. We’re sitting two defensemen each night, and Brandon Manning’s disgustingly overpaid ass is stuffed in the minors. Call up Stanton if you want. Nobody fucking cares. You’re saying you could have moved Petrovic and then willingly decided not to? And that Kassian’s third line element is irreplaceable and therefore you didn’t want to move that? And INEXPLICABLY you didn’t move Chiasson for reasons? AND FUCKING PITTSBURGH JUST TRADED FOR A WORSE KRIS RUSSELL AND YOU COULDN’T PULL THAT MOVE OFF?!

Okay I’m cool. Look, I’m mad we didn’t fleece Pittsburgh in a deal given that Jim Rutherford just willingly ambushed Matt Murray’s pending GAA by acquiring Erik Gudbranson to play with Jack Johnson. This has the makings of what will be the worst defensive duo maybe to ever play together in the NHL. I’m talking Nikitin and Fayne bad, but worse because these two make all of the money and are both under contract until the next glacial epoch.

If you still defend Russell because of blocked shots or something then you haven’t adapted to the new NHL and shame on you. He is overpaid, he is a defensive nightmare, he is a deer in headlights when opposing forwards apply even an iota of pressure on him while he’s carrying the puck. Not to mention his patented starfish™ move is about as effective as Magikarp’s “splash.”

So missing out on dumping him over to Pittsburgh is kind of a blow. But whatever, we didn’t really expect much else from the team that values Cowboys over puck possession.

So, like, we had two maybe three players with value left on the roster that could have maybe been dealt. Chiasson, Kassian, and Petrovic. All still here. Chances are at least one will not be here next year, and the other one is essentially now destined for a three-year deal at $3.75 per because Oilers. Kassian also qualifies for an extension in the summer. Would not be surprised at all.

At the end of the day, we didn’t have that much value to ship out. Peter Chiarelli filled this roster with used toilet paper on his way out the door, and hence, this is where we are. There was chatter about dumping Lucic to Ottawa, but let’s be honest: he ain’t waiving that NMC to go to Ottawa. Why would he? They’re the only dumpster fire currently on more fire than ours. They’ll be rebuilding for the next 6-8 years. At least here, Milan can chill with Connor and collect his fat phat dollars and possibly make the playoffs next year in a ridiculously bad western conference so long as we hire an adult as GM.

One other thing, Calgary talked for MONTHS about Zucc or Stone or even Hayes and they ended up with Oscar Fantenberg. Can someone translate this for me?

Bro Mark Stone was just traded for a good prospect, a throw in, and a 2nd round pick in like 2020 and you’re saying the prices were too high? That’s next level propaganda. Bob Stauffer tips his cap.

Quick Trending Upers and Trending Downers, Post-Deadline

Up, in order: Colorado, Columbus, Nashville, Vegas, San Jose, New York Rangers, Buffalo, Boston

Down, in order: Ottawa, Calgary, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Toronto, Winnipeg, Matt Tkachuk, my Florida jerseys, Keith Gretzky’s credibility:

Lastly

Wanted to give a big shoutout to Blake, who’s been a fan of the blog for a while now and has made the trip down to Nashville to go watch the boys. Poor guy booked this trip before Connor was arrested and convicted of a Class 1 NHL felony, so unfortunately Blake and his crew will not get to witness Connor churning Roman Josi into butter tonight:

But it’s still an electric town and a great atmosphere to catch a game, and Blake will get to see the #BadBoys be bad at the beginning of their five-game road trip/20-game march to the playoffs. Be loud for the underdogs tonight, my man.

And shoutout to everyone else who made the trip down to Nashville. I don’t know anyone personally, but I do know that a lot of Oilers fans normally invade that barn. Represent.

Prediction

They have nobody to play tonight. Welcome to our world, Nashville. 6-4 Oilers. Currie with one. Gagner with two. Drai with three. Nuge with four. Cue the fucking music:

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